I want to be happy

My lips are chapped.

My eyes swollen.

It's not the allergies this time.

I miss Ziggy.

I hate feeling alone even when I'm not.

I hate that I have a boyfriend who selectively likes me; selectively.

I just want to be loved, to feel loved.

I don't think he has it in him; love.

I've tried so hard.

What else can I do?

Explain it?

He probably wouldn't listen.

Maybe...?

What if I tell him that I hear Jack Johnson and I smile because I think of him

And that the summer spent in a house that wreaked of cigarettes and had no power was my favorite summer ever

Or that when I have to sleep alone I sleep on his side because it smells like him

Or that I hate his laugh, but I really love it

Or that when he sings I fall even harder for him; every time

His hugs

When he lets me know that he was thinking of me

When he calls me baby

When he watches chick flicks with me and doesn't complain

When he lets me cry on his shoulder and tells me it will be OK

When he thinks of 'our' future

When he loves on my dogs

When he compliments me.

Or when he talks to his mom about me

When he feeds ducks with me

When he laughs with me

When he gets rid of spiders for me

Surprises me

Rubs my back

Watches scary movies with me

Lets me listen to my song on the radio even when he hates it

Compromises.

Talks to me about his day

Gets excited about his game; nerd.

When he cooks

When he cleans

When he holds me

When he gives me valentines day re dos

Hangs out with my friends

Gives me someone to brag about

But it probably wouldn't help at all to tell him that I hate it when he hurts me

Or talks down to me

Yells at me

Tells me I'm ridiculous

Talks about other hot girls and never says anything about his current girlfriend; me.

Talks about how hot his ex was; she really wasn't anything special.

Tells me he's done with me

Would rather play his game than spend time with me

Makes me cry

Makes me feel like I'm not good enough

Doesn't even give my family a chance

Hates everyone

Tells me what I should or shouldn't do

Yells

Tells me I'm immature

Looks at me when he's angry

Tells me he's done

Wants to hurt people

Puts people down

Why should I trust my heart with someone who can just disregard things/people so quickly?

It would be stupid on my part.

Get myself up just for him to be over it and walk out

I'm worth effort

A good relationship takes work.

Compromise

Effort from both sides

Dealing with insecurities

Learning together







Lucky for me, he did listen.

He listened and he continues to listen.

He listens and he talks, not yells, and he compromises.

He shows me how much he cares.